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We have been manoeuvred into guilt about our choices. We are told or made to feel like we have left trying for a baby too late. So, is trying for a baby as simple as making or not making that choice? 

My journey to becoming a mother was long, challenging and really lonely. I speak with many women and know that my story is no exception.  

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It went like this:  

Until I was 36 years old, I did everything to NOT have a baby.  

First, you want to get some education, have a career, and work your way up. You are in your thirties before you even know it. Then, you want to meet someone decent to have a baby with. You also want to be in a relationship with them for a few years before trying for a baby. You want to enjoy the relationship for a few years but also want to check them out because, I hazard a guess, your heart might have been broken a few times by now, and some risk assessment is needed. If you come from an unprivileged background, you have no choice but to rent privately, and it takes a long time to get on the property ladder. And that's how you arrive at 35+ when trying for your first child.  

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These are all sensible choices, yet I was judged harshly for leaving it "so late". There was rather little understanding or support, and everyone was trying to sell me something. Fertility is a vast industry, and the private fertility sector has excellent marketing tools.  

And sure, I like buying things, but do I not like being sold to. 

I was told a lot about how fertility declines with age and not much about what I could do to boost my fertility naturally. I was given all the statistics under the sun about how slim my chances of conceiving were. It was assumed by most people around me, including medical professionals, that I would go straight for IVF or adoption. I admire women with the bravery and the strength to go through IVF and think we live in extraordinary times for having such treatments available. I am more than glad anytime I, as an acupuncturist, can help them on their journey. Personally, I had no courage to go through that process. Deep in my heart, I knew a naturally conceived baby was waiting for me out there, despite surrounding cynicism and an attempt to shut down that voice. 

 

Luckily, I realised that Western Medicine had no answers for me. Sitting in the passenger seat does not suit me, and the victim mindset does not agree with me. I started exploring holistic methods. Traditional Chinese Medicine and acupuncture had all the answers and methods I sought. The 3000 years of TCM history have built incredible knowledge about female health and fertility. I have been studying it for years, put it into practice with remarkable success and am hugely passionate about the subject, to say the least. IVF and pharmacological solutions should be the last resort, not the first point of action.  

It genuinely is my calling to share everything I know can help you to conceive, and this Blog is my platform for it.  

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Wherever you are on your journey, do not assume you are a lost cause. 

 

Let me be your Fertility Big Sister. 

Irena x